We all know Mulla Nasruddin as a character from folklore. He is famous for his witty anecdotes and humorous wisdom. Through his clever quips and thought-provoking stories, he often uses irony and satire to highlight life’s absurdities.

One such story goes like this:

The Mulla went to see a rich man.
“Give me some money.”
“Why?”
“I want to buy… an elephant.”
“If you have no money, you can’t afford to keep an elephant.”
“I came here,” said Nasruddin, “to get money, not advice.”

How often does it happen that when you seek help from someone, instead of getting help, you end up with plenty of advice?

How many times have people come to you seeking help, and you ended up giving them advice instead of actually helping them?

This is a common situation that most professionals encounter at various stages in their careers.

Seeking help is an art. As children, we are unhesitant in seeking help. But as we grow older, we are often told that asking for help is a weakness.

Some of the messages we hear include:

• “Figure it out on your own; you’re smart enough.”
• “Why do you always need help with everything?”
• “Stop being so dependent. You need to be more independent.”
• “If you ask for help, people will think you can’t do anything by yourself.”
• “You’re too old to be asking for help with this.”
• “It’s not that hard. Why can’t you do it yourself?”
• “Asking for help makes you look weak.”
• “If I have to help you, it means you’re not trying hard enough.”
• “You should know this by now. I shouldn’t have to help you.”
• “Other kids can do it by themselves. Why can’t you?”

Each of these statements reinforces the belief that seeking help is bad.

We continue to hear similar sentiments from professional colleagues and seniors in the organizations where we work. Since we believe seeking help is bad, we often undervalue helping others.

There are many reasons why someone might hesitate to help others:

1. Fear of Competition – This is common when we view the person seeking help as a threat to our own career.
2. Lack of Time or Resources – We are all struggling to complete our tasks. It’s a vicious cycle: we struggle because we are not seeking help ourselves.
3. Unclear Boundaries – Should I help or not? Does this fall within my remit? Will I overstep by helping?
4. Cultural or Organizational Barriers – Some cultures place a strong emphasis on “minding your own business.”
5. Lack of Recognition or Incentive – When we help, it often goes unrecognized. Many people prefer to take credit for themselves rather than acknowledge the contributions of others who helped them.
6. Personal Discomfort – A lack of confidence or experience can make it uncomfortable to help others.
7. Trust Issues – Fear of exposing one’s own vulnerabilities is a big barrier to both giving and seeking help.
8. Different Work Styles – Different approaches can lead to frustration. Sometimes, when we offer help, the seeker objects, saying they wanted it done in a different way.

Seeking help is not a failure; it is a strength. It requires courage to admit we don’t know everything and to reach out to others for guidance. By doing so, we open ourselves to growth, learning, and connection.

On his deathbed, Bhishma from the Mahabharata said that the gift of knowledge is the highest among all gifts. Helping others, in turn, increases our own knowledge and confidence.

The true strength of a leader is not in how much they know, but in how much they are willing to learn from others.